I lost my home in the Palisades fire.  

This is the third time in my life that my home and everything in it had been taken away with no chance of getting it back.

The Pacific Palisades was my safe space. It provided stability, something that I hadn’t felt for years. I’m originally from Luhansk, a city in eastern Ukraine on the border with Russia.  When I was just four years old, my parents and I were forced to leave everything from our past behind. My hometown was occupied by Russian forces and annexed by Russia. 

We moved from city to city to stay safe, in hope of a brighter future. Eventually, we settled in Dnipro, a city that promised safety. Then, in February of 2022, all of Ukraine was threatened. 

My mother and I moved to Spain, once again leaving everything behind, including my father. We arrived in the United States in June of 2022.

In the Palisades, a new world opened to me. It ‘s been a pleasure to stay in such a peaceful place. I was surprised by how perfect the community looked, surrounded by elegance and the cheerfulness of people around me. 

However, this happiness did not last long. On January 7th of this year, I was still on winter break and about to start a history assignment. Then, a fire alert appeared on my phone. I looked out my window and saw smoke rising from a burning hill.

I was shocked. I never thought anything this serious could happen. When I went outside, I heard screams from my neighbors, the noise of sirens and planes were blasting, and people were rushing around.  Meanwhile I was alone waiting for my mom to return from work in Santa Monica. We didn’t have a car, so she normally took a bus or taxi home, but there was too much traffic.

In the next hour, the fire spread fast. By the time my mother got home, we had no more time to stay there. We took very few essentials in hopes we would come back to an untouched place and left with neighbors in their car. 

For the third time in my life, my hope was false. Once again, I lost something that carried huge meaning forever. My journals, artwork and valuables from my childhood in Ukraine were all gone. 

It was hard to see the aftermath of the fire. It reminded me of the war zones I’d seen in Ukraine, seeing all of the people devastated and displaced. 

My mother and I moved into a new apartment. Pali High switched to online learning for four months.

During that time, I spent most of the time on my own, inside. Some people I relied on were not there for me. I knew I needed to find people who have the dignity to act like real friends. I felt devastated in many aspects, so I preferred to stay online in order to feel safer. 

Luckily, in January, I got back in touch with my childhood best friend from Kyiv, Ukraine, whom I have lost contact with since 2019. Fortunately, bad cellular connection, a time difference of 10 hours and errands throughout the day were not an issue for us to get to know each other better. 

Occasionally, I met friends from my school and slowly opened up to each of them. 

I went back to school on April 22. Pali High reopened in the old Sears building. 

During the four months that I was mostly on my own, I reviewed my life experiences and processed my feelings regarding losses and conflicts.

I managed to reshape myself to come back as a stronger person with new ambitions.

I realized I don’t want to feel helpless in powerful situations. 

Before the fire, I lacked hope about my ability to make changes. Now, I know I can take action to shape my own future and make the world a better place.