The biggest crisis at Pali is not homework, finals or even the line for pizza wrapping around the whole cafeteria at lunch; rather, it’s the members tab on Schoology suddenly disappearing. No warning. No explanation. Just…gone.
This is more than an inconvenience. This is a crisis.
What about the school stalking? How are students supposed to find out who’s in their classes and casually study their crush’s schedule?
The members tab wasn’t just a feature. It was a tool–a data broker with access to a lifestyle. An insight that influenced student’s cognitive and logical decision making.
The disappearance of the members tab has devastated Pali student’s love lives. During the Members-tab Era (DME), students used to be able to carefully analyze schedules, discover classes and “conveniently” run into their crush when class was over. Now, students are forced to rely on risky methods like an actual conversation and eye contact. Some students fear teenage romance at Pali may never fully recover.
Students, left with nothing but confusion naturally began searching for answers.
Some say the members tab was removed to protect privacy, while others think administrators know the unhealthy amount of time spent on the tab and that the only way to resolve the issue was to simply take it away. Pali’s administration found that 70% of class time was spent searching through the members tab.
Others have more extreme theories.
One anonymous sophomore claimed the administration removed the tab because “students were spending too much time spying.” Another suggested it was all part of a larger plan to force students to focus during class instead of spending 20 minutes investigating why someone suddenly switched out of AP World History.
Learning? Without the members tab? Coming up with new ways to chase down students we love and try to avoid others? The future looks bleak.
In DME, students had all the social knowledge they needed along with the information to tackle gossip. They didn’t need to ask who was in their classes because the answers were only one click away.
Maybe the real problem is that students are now being made to discover Schoology’s other features. Rumors spread quickly after several students accidentally clicked on the “Grades” tab for the first time in months. Without the members tab, students are now exposed to dangerous new concepts like missing assignments and course materials. Many are still adjusting to this new reality.
Principal and Executive Director Dr. Pamela Magee addressed the situation briefly during a meeting.
“At Pali we value resilience,” Magee said. “Even in these tough times we must continue to learn.”
Somebody booed, but no one knew who they were without the members tab.
As of now, students continue searching for answers, hope and occasionally a shorter route to take to the “jillage” (J buildings).
